It sounds crazy, right?

Didn’t I tell you to not let your ex know how needy and desperate you are?

Am I now telling you to tell your ex about how much your love them, how much you want them in your life, and how miserable you are without them?

Should you just be honest?

OK, if you have actually tried telling your ex about your state of desperation, then you know that it doesn’t work.

So, no I am not telling you to be honest… that way.

I do want you to be honest, however, when you are no longer needy and miserable.

I want you to be honest, when you feel you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back.

I want you to be honest with yourself.

I want you to look deep inside yourself and be honest with yourself about your relationship with your ex.

I want you to be honest about how you felt during the relationship.

Were you really happy with your ex?

Do you really think getting back together is the right thing to do?

Or are you just convincing yourself because you miss your ex so damn much?

Because the grief is too much for you to handle?

Because the pain of losing someone so precious to you is excruciating?

Like I said in my last email, we all lie to ourselves to some extent.

Being honest with yourself is the first step in becoming the confident, attractive and secure person you once were.

No contact is a great way to separate yourself from all the confusion and emotional turmoil that comes with a breakup.

And then you use that time to be honest with yourself. To learn how to stop being needy and become a confident and secure person.

My friend calls it Active No Contact.

Because you are not just doing no contact for the sake of making your ex miss you.

Because you are actively working on becoming a more confident, more secure, and more honest person. That’s the type of honesty that makes you attractive.